hurt

u're annoying
we're better of without you

those sentences sound the same to me.
after 4 years I hear that words again.
I change so much, just to not hear that words
It seems that it still not enough.
what should I do?
get lost?
vanish?

ok, what's the sitch?

im currently posting in an uncomfortable pose, on a cold cold floor, with my smokey eyes still on, hurting abs, numb neck, 2 fingers.

YAY

hahhahaha doing it again

since I started high school my romance part just go numb.
I can feel none.
except for cnu

cnu cnu cnu
I don't know why I love this guy, maybe his broad shoulder? his body proportion? his smile?
not really.
When I see him, I see my ONE

that's weird because I might never met him

but I have a strong feeling I'll meet him somehow, maybe not now, maybe when I'm already finish university, maybe when I worked somewhere, maybe when I have children, maybe when I have many grandchildren, maybe in the afterlife... I don't know when.. But I feel I'll  meet him... well only God knows..

ok, back to reality. yea, my heart really go numb somehow.. I can love, but I can't be heartbroken :/ I know he liked my good friend, but I'm not hurt. Maybe I became those idiots in love?

well again, only God knows.

whom happiness do I always wish for?

ladida

hi, page. I'm here again.. posting rants and shitties.
today is FKS 2012 1st day!

yay!
the theme is retroria night, I wore polkadot top, cappuchino vest, ultramarine jegging, floral hat, my fave ipanema sandals, and of course my soulmate longchamp

ok, skip it
today was... okay....
hot hot afternoon, storm at night
yea another normal day....
just now I'm wondering how much love can affect ppl...
my friend brownie, is in the middle of multiangular love..
the culprit is aftering her for a long time yet have many2 other girls (idiot girls in love) in his sleeve... they knew they're not the only one, yet they still wait for him.. expecting much?

Actually I have no right to say these things, my love is always one sided..
accept one. yea, he's nice... too nice maybe.. I don't deserve someone as nice as him

X

one-sided love is.. painful... especially when no one knows about it..
I don't know why but I can't share love stories to others...
and almost all my one-sided love, had a crush on my goodfriends... haha....

actually I should never get any hopes high, I'm not pretty outside nor inside
I have no much friend in this school
pathetic. yes.
just as pathetic as this page... pailing up my rants to be seen by none.
well that's what I want I think

to my best

If u read my blog
please don't get offended.

I can never say those things to you.
just let me let it out for once
and please act like u know nothing bout my blog.

again to u my best friend

U always thought u have many many many mask so that no one will know the real you.
but I know u.
u're nothing but a mere book to my eyes.
I know how u act with each type of people.
I know the real u.
I know who u like.
I know how u think of other people. *except how me to u*
I know.
I really know.



But do u know me?
Have u ever try to know me?
Do u know how I always act in front of u is nothing but a mere mask?

SORRY.
MIANHAE.
but I always want u to know u are my dearest bestest friend.
*I am still straight. thank you very much*

more and more and more junks

I HATE U WHO ALWAYS GET PEOPLE ATTENTION WHEN U CRY, WHEN U SPEAK, WHEN U LAUGH.

I really am dissappointed when I cry in public *better, around my friends in public* yet no one there to comfort me.

I'm not really hoping anyone to care about me a lot but I'm speechless when I know they don't even take a glimpse of me.


ENVY. ENVY. ENVY.
I REALLY ENVY U
YET U NEVER REALIZE WHAT U HAVE AND U NEVER BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT U HAVE

u know what. I love u a lot. U are my bestest friend. I don't know what u think of me, but to me u're the greatest no matter what. but yeah tbh this is for u my dearest bestest friend.

more rants

currently in a huge crush with CNU
glasses, huge bunny teeth, not so long neck
yet charming to me.
kkkk~ sorry Taecyeon

currently in love
yet I will tell nobody
I'm not like other girls who could share things with their friends
I'm afraid that nobody will care
I'm always thinking all people have bigger problems than me
so I don't think I should talk to them about my *not important* problems
I rather listen to them
even if I can do none to help them


yes. I am paranoia.
I ain't gonna tell nobody

my blog is just a pail of my rant*junk*
I ain't hoping anyone read this

-yes, I can't write diaries. I type it.-

yep. just a great day

happy for SJC and SMANSA-DC
I'm proud being one of u guys
only 3 things that can make me stay "there"
and both of u is 2 of those three

just a few days ago, a person can know how I really feel and how I really am
it scares me but some part of me is relieved.

but no one seems to care though.

yea. i'm not just regularly not perfect unfortunately
i'm just a piece of trash *orfat myb*
who no one will realize
no one cares
even to throw it away




know what?
I'm afraid of death
but I'm more afraid of living unwanted

can't move on, can't stay

Still no improvement in high school.... I'm attached to JHS!!!!!
arrggghhh
all of my friends still thereee...
but here, I have no one

MISS U SO MUCH SANJOSE GALS N BOYS!!!!

NAJIB CREW 2009

if I'm not strong enough I'll move there in 6 month.
:(
I don't know what to do.
only SMANSA-DC can cheer me up :D



I don't know why, but I don't think anybody in X.* think of me as one of the class member.
they never told m about anything, like class outing, class projects or anything.
I'm pretty much used to it by now,

GOIN' CRAZY

Good thing it's holiday :D

my mom is goin crazy about dieting =_=;

Road 2 Fashion

my award winning look :D

http://looklet.com/look/5503247

add me on looklet :D
http://looklet.com/user/154633

my look of the day
(it depends on my mood)

http://looklet.com/look/8747776

current mood : dark, frightened, anxious